Tuesday, August 5, 2014

"Why the Sky?" and other riduculous questions

Whoever said, “There’s no such thing as a stupid question” obviously did not have children. Or he/she had children who were mutes. 

My child asks a lot of stupid questions. There—I’ve said it.  Judge me if you’d like for using the word “stupid” concerning anything to do with a child, but there’s just no getting around it. These questions are stupid. The vast majority of the things he asks me about have nothing to do with his actually being interested, or curious, or wanting to learn new information. I know this because he already knows the answers. And about half the time, his questions don’t even make sense.

I’ve asked around, and apparently, this questioning isn’t unique to my child. One of the friends I interviewed said her child asks questions often that seem to be missing words, like “Why the sky?” Another said her child asked her if she’d seen a green dinosaur with a long neck… FOR MONTHS.

From the super-scientific research I’ve conducted, it seems that most kids get some sort of perverse pleasure from driving their parents up the wall by asking questions that either: 1. are unanswerable, 2. are redundant, or 3. have answers that are so obvious that it hurts. 

Here are just a few examples:

1.  “Is that my brother?”

When he asked this question, he was standing over his brother, looking straight into his face. In our house. With no one else around. Early-onset Alzheimer’s? Nope, just being a three-year-old.

2.  “Why?”

The follow-up question to #1. I’m not sure if he wanted me to jump into a lecture on genetics, or if I did too well with the first question so he thought he’d make them harder.

3.  Andy: “Is that my Daddy?

Mama: “Yes.”

Andy: “Where?”

Um, did he not just point Dad out? Why would he need to ask me “where”? 

4.  “Is that my Daddy?”

No, honey. That is a 75-year old man with a full beard. Or a black teenager. Or a woman. Do you need glasses?

5.   “Why do I have to sit in time-out?”

Asked directly after clocking his brother in the face. Really?

6.   “Why did I do that?”

Baby, if you don’t know, I CERTAINLY don’t. 

7.   “Do we live in Texas?...When?”

Pretty sure RIGHT NOW. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have answered “yes”.

8.  Mama: “I’m going to push your chair up a little so you don’t spill food in your lap.”

Andy: “Why?”

Did I not preemptively answer that?

9. (While driving) “Red means ‘Stop’, Mama.  Red means ‘Stop’! RED MEANS ‘STOP’!... Why are you stopping?”

There are no words.

10.   “Mama, why were you younger?”

I do not understand the question…

11.  Andy: “Mama, where do we live?”

Mama: “In Anna, Texas.”

Andy: “No, where do we LIVE?”

Mama: (Tells him our address)

Andy: “NO, where do we LIVE?”

Mama: (Description with landmarks he is familiar with)

Andy: “NO, WHERE do WE LIVE?”

I give up.

12.   “Am I Andy?”

Yes. Yes, you are. Are you having an identity crisis? Do we need to look into counseling?

So what are some ridiculous questions YOUR kids have asked?

1 comment:

  1. This is only the beginning of many many many more years of questions from your 3 children. Lol. Love u